Dancing Like a Beautiful Dance Whore
by Fewfre
Summary: Based off the Franz Ferdinand song "Micheal," we adventure into a slightly intoxicated Gilbert's mind and his slightly intoxicated views on Oz. Mentions of OzxGil, though not actually supported.


As always, rights for Pandora Hearts characters go to Mochizuki Jun. "Micheal" belongs to Franz Ferdinand, and is included in their first album. I recommend them-!

That is all, you can read and be disturbed now.

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><p>"Are you sure this is where the Chain is, Oz-sama?"<p>

At the moment the three amigos (or would Pandora agents be more fitting?) were standing at the entrance to a bar in the lower east side of downtown, each face screwed up with different emotions. Gilbert was unwilling, Alice was fuming, and Oz was celebrating, or at least feigning it. They looked out of place among the beggars and prostitutes, but that was to be expected.

Oz smiled at his senior, who was cowering beside him. "Yep, Break said it himself! And he never lies…most of the time…"

"I think you have that backwards," Gilbert growled, but quieted his protests. They had already gone so far; it would be useless now to go back to the Vessalius mansion just to be scolded by Emily and Sharon.

Master and servant took their first step towards the door. Noticing that it was only them, Oz looked behind to see his Chain glaring at the bar's sign. It read: GILLIARD'S PUB, BAND PERFORMANCE AT 5.

"Hey Oz, isn't it almost five?" Alice asked, glancing at him for an answer.

Oz shrugged indifferently and told her that it shouldn't be much of a hinderance, since they'd only be in there for ten minutes or so. This convinced her to step inside with them, and other than a mumbling about wanting meat she gave no more complaints. Her motivation was for her memories, of course, so nothing, not even this mysterious 'band' that would perform, could stop her.

Unless the Will of Abyss appeared and tried to drag her straight back from where she came, or Jack came out of nowhere to offer her a trip to his house. But that was about it.

Two things Gilbert noticed when they went inside: there was indeed a band getting ready to play, and there was a banner over the bar saying that drinks were half-off. He stopped dead in his tracks, head filled with uncertain thoughts as of what to do next. Luckily he didn't have to make a choice, since Alice kicked him in the back and sent him flying towards the floor. As the pain subsided in his face he took a moment to glare at the girl with fiery amber eyes.

"The hell was that for?"

"You were in my way, seaweed head, so I moved you. You should be honored that my foot touched your unworthiness!" She pronounced, laughing cruelly at his form, which looked something like a spider with a broken leg.

Oz at the moment was talking with the bartender.

_What is he up to?_ Gilbert thought, starting to feel suspicious of his young-yet-not-really-young-master. His train of thought was interrupted as another kick was delivered to his back.

"Ow, stop that, you stupid rabbit!" He yelped, throwing her off of him and getting up himself.

Alice stuck her tongue out in a vividly mature way. "You were still in my way, seaweed head!"

"Dumb rabbit!"

"Idiot!"

"Hey Gilbert~"

Both turned around at the strange tone of voice, and saw Oz holding up two…what were those again?

"Oz, why do you have two barrels with you?"

Oz grinned innocently and patted the top of one casually. "Oh, these things? I just thought that maybe you could do something fun for me so the job can be more entertaining."

"Do I have to do it too?" Alice asked, an annoyed frown covering her face. Oz shook his head. "Then I'm alll for it! Go for it, you manservant of a manservant!"

"Don't call me that," Gilbert snapped irritably.

He glanced at one of the barrels, already knowing what was contained within them. Break wasn't the type of man to enjoy beer, but he liked to impose anything he didn't like on everybody else, so that included Gilbert. Gilbert had—as expected of the low-tolerance gentleman—passed out within drinking one pint of the stuff. But if it was for his master…

Sometimes he wished that loyalty was defined differently.

His vision blurred; his words slurred; his feet stumbled; his tongue was stale; but that was to be expected. By the time the Nightray's adopted son had gotten through half of his second barrel, he had puked (or would regurgitate be better?) so many times that the staff had to bring out five mops to clean it up.

The band had started playing fifteen minutes ago, and the undercover agents still hadn't found their Contractor or Chain. Drinking games were more distracting than they thought…

Suddenly a guitar riff started being played, signifying the beginning of a new song. The crowd cheered and people gathered on the dance floor, including Alice and Oz. Or what looked like Alice and Oz. At the moment, Gilbert couldn't see very well, although the lyrics of the song were being heard clearly in his head…

"**This is where I'll be, so heavenly, so come and dance with me Michael**…"

_Who's this Micheal guy supposed to be?_ Gilber wondered, his eyes lingering for a moment on a ravenous and hungry Alice then to Oz. He didn't expect Oz to dance to the song. He may have been a huge flirt and all, but the only dancing he knew was of the higher class. That's the mindset Gilbert had kept for a long time, until today.

That 15-year-old boy—yes, he was 15, even though his looks said differently—was dancing completely different than before, to the point where if Ada saw him she would faint in fright.

"**So sexy, I'm sexy, so come and dance with me Michael…I'm all that you see, you want to see, so come and dance with me Micheal**…"

Without realizing it Gilbert had gotten off his barstool. His eyes were wide as he saw the one person he valued above all others work his body in a way that was most…_provocative_.

"**So close now, so close now. Come and dance with me, come and dance with me, so come and dance with me**!"

Suddenly an explosion of dance moves was thrown out, and it took all of Gilbert's last remains of his still-sober mind to comprehend what was going on.

"**Micheal you're the boy with all the leather hips**!"

Did Oz change his pants while Gilbert was guzzling down that first barrel?

"**Sticky hair, sticky hips, stubble on my sticky lips**."

Gilbert remembered how short his master's shorts were, even going above his knees. Back then he had thought it rather childish for him to still wear something like that, but now he didn't mind as much.

"**Micheal you're the only one I'd ever want, only one I'd ever want, only one I'd ever want**!"

That's right; Gilbert didn't want Oz to have any other servant but him, and he wouldn't like it much either if he got a lover—wait what?

"**Beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor, Micheal you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore! Micheal waiting on a silver platter now…nothing matters now**!"

Gilbert had to hold his head as he barely collapsed from his strange thoughts, and flinched at the pain brought on by them. No, he only thought these things because he was drunk, not because he felt _that_ sort of thing for Oz. But exactly what was _that_, and why was it so damn _tempting_?

The band had started on a new section, it seemed, because the voices were lower in volume. Gilbert took that moment to sit back in his seat and contemplate some things.

"**This is what I am, I am a man, so come and dance with me Micheal**…"

Yes, I am a man. Gilbert was sure of that at least, although Break liked to tell him differently. But why would he, a man, want to be so much closer to Oz, another man?

"**So strong now, it's strong now…come and dance with me Micheal…I'm all that you see, you want to see, so come and dance with me, so come and dance with me, so come and dance with me**-!"

This song was really exaggerating the desire to dance, but even as Gilbert criticized the strange, punk band he couldn't help but feel that same urge awaken with him. He wanted Oz to look at him and only him, not that stupid rabbit, not even at Uncle Oscar. He wanted him for himself. This was selfish to think, but now that Gilbert was thinking about it he just couldn't stop the flow of enraged and passionate thoughts.

As the musicians entered into the chorus, Gilbert jumped up (with much wavering on the alcohol's part) and stumbled over to where he believed Oz was.

"**Micheal you're the boy with all the leather hips, sticky hair, sticky lips, stubble on my soggy lips! Micheal you're the only one I'd ever want, only one I'd ever want, only one I'd ever want !Beautiful boys on a beautiful dance floor, Micheal you're dancing like a beautiful dance whore. Micheal waiting on a silver platter now and nothing matters now**!"

Through these verses Gilbert tried his best to blend into the crowd and spot Oz without falling over himself. The beer was affecting his sight, he knew, but he had a feeling that their bond was deep enough that he could recognize the boy by just being near his presence. He had to share this revelation with him now: not tomorrow, or the day after, or even tonight, but now, while he still had some confidence put in him.

The punk band broke off for a guitar solo, giving Gilbert free room to walk around and find him. Quickly he looked around for the boy he cared for most, adored most, and _loved_ most. He spotted what looked like the blonde and started trudging towards him.

The chorus began again and the crowd danced with the music, although Oz remained stationary. This threw Gilbert off a little, and as he approached what he thought was the master he soon realized it was a turned down, bright yellow bowl.

_How is that even possible?_ He thought in enraged bewilderment.

"**Micheal waiting on a silver platter now nothing matters now**—"

"Gilbert?"

Gilbert stopped his tearless sobbing and opened his eyes.

"—**nothing matters now**—"

He turned around and, without taking even a mini-second to think, grabbed the voice's head and pulled it towards him in a way that can only be described as 'a desperate and totally cliché kiss'.

"—**nothing matters oh yeah**!"

When he broke off the sudden act of affection, he smiled and embraced Oz with all of his might. He heard a gasp for breath from him but kept the tight hug, not wanting to ruin the moment (or tumble down onto the floor from being off-balance).

"Hey Gilbert, what are you doing over there? You haven't finished off the barrels yet!"

Surprise struck through Gilbert's mind first at the sound of Oz's voice on the other side of the room; then confusion because Oz _was_ _on the other side of the room_; then he was curious as to who he was actually embracing, and why they seemed to hold the same frame as Oz.

"Let go of me, you stupid seaweed head!"

_Oh hell no._

He was gathering the strength in his muscles to push her back, but she beat him to the punch…with an actual punch. Gilbert could feel the blood inch out of his gums as he fell backwards, almost as if in slow motion. What he saw next was like a picture show:

Alice was shouting, no, _screaming_ at him for being a dummy.

From behind her Oz came up, smiling as if nothing serious had happened.

The ceiling kept getting more apparent as Gilbert fell to the ground.

The sight of spiderwebs and floating Ada's surrounded his vision; he wasn't sure which one was real.

Oz was standing over him, hands covering those glorious knees.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting you to go and kiss Alice! That really was quite a show, Gil!"

_Oh cruel world, why must you hate me?_

And yes, it turned there was no chain in the bar at all. It was in the fortune teller shop right next to it. But that, in itself, is a different tale…

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><p>No OzxGil, I made that pretty clear in the summary. So please don't flame me for it. Let's see here, what else... Reviews would be appreciated, and thank you for your time! :D<p> 


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